I’m surrounded by brick squares and drunk chicks
And everything is green, I swear,
Just trees everywhere around and
Over there is where I work, and
Over there is where my friend almost
Got raped by a homeless man in
The laundry room, just yesterday, and—
Yes, if you keep walking there are koi fish
That swim in slime and gulp at the air,
Fat with free food from tourists,
And sick of all the constant weddings.
I know—it’s so hot and sticky outside
But that’s okay, I’ve got lotion
So Richard doesn’t get burned…Well
Here’s my room, I love it and
My roommate and I are so alike and—
Yes, yes you can use the restroom,
No one’s here on Fridays anyway.
The bookstore is kind of a walk
But it’s pretty, c’mon I’ll show you—
Yup, there’s the pyramid, and watch out
That plane might get you! I’m kidding…
The airport’s nearby so, um yeah…
You can smoke here, that’s okay
Just as long as there aren’t cops around—
Yes, here’s the food court but the coolest thing is
Over there they usually have vendors but
They leave by the end of the week –
The campus is a ghost town on weekends,
Which is why I usually go home to see
Mom or Greg or whatever, and sometimes
I have time to come see you guys, but—
No, I don’t think they sell diapers on campus.
I don’t know. I guess you could ask.
Anything else you want to show us
before we leave?
Fuck I hope we don’t have a parking ticket. We
should go back now.
I’m starving. Stop that, Michael! You need a cigarette.
I don’t need a fucking cigarette, you do.
‘Please don’t start, Richard is sleeping—‘
You know what? You fucking drive and I’ll
walk the fuck home.
No, there isn’t anything else I need to show you.